A week has passed since Dawn’s death. I have busied myself around the house this week, started to deal with some of the tasks that have to be done, and gathered for dinner with members of Kent Presbytery to welcome the Moderator Mardi Tindal. I have slept well but I do not feel I have the energy for doing much. I wouldn’t say I am depressed but I feel down and alone. It is not a feeling that can simply be filled by the presence of others; although I long for company and felt cared for by being with friends at the dinner last night, I still welcome the peace of solitude. I think I am understanding the solitude that Henri Nouwen describes as being alone but not being lonely. I guess I am realizing that I did not know how much the loss of a loved one can be so profound. However, lest you may be overly concerned about my well-being, I would assure you that I am OK. These comments are offered as reflections on my journey of grief.
Although I have been doing the housework now for a couple of years, simple things like doing the laundry and preparing a meal seem to be without purpose because I am not doing them for someone. Even when Dawn was not eating much, she shared the meal time with me. She held one end of the sheets when I need help to fold them. Just the week before she went into hospital, she was adding things to the shopping list for the Thanksgiving meal.
In our faith, we are reminded that we are not alone. God is with us. These are words that are meant to comfort – and in the midst of the loss they take on new meaning. The words of comfort that are most real are those from people who have shared such loss. In the empathy of sharing our loss, we are touched by God’s love in the Christ who shares our loss.
Hello Curtis – how sorry we are to hear of Dawn’s death. I am writing this in December after seeing on Brian’s facebook page that you requested a contact. As we hardly ever use facebook I looked for your email and found this page. We so enjoyed visiting you in Windsor so long ago and especially appreciated Dawn’s lovely meals and her sharing her craft work with me. I still have a ‘quillo’ she showed me how to make. I hope you are enjoying some of your family over Christmas and not too lonely. As we do not have your email address perhaps you can reply by email to us. I assume you will be able to access ours on this site. Our very best wishes to you all over this season – you will feel Dawn’s absence greatly I am sure. We will be thinking of you. love from Mary and Brian Monckton
Curt, I am touched by your words of profound grief. My Mom lived here in Revelstoke for 20 yrs and we were very close. The depth of grief I experienced following her passing is nothing I would ever have been aware of except through direct experience. It taught me so much about our depth of connection as divine souls. Take good care. With love, Frieda